ACFC National Family Court Protest - Spring 2001!!!
ACFC is coordinating and sponsoring a nationwide protest of family courts
across the country in the Spring of 2001. We need your help...Would you please
join us in this important national effort? If you are in another country,
would you please join with us in this endeavor, also?
As many of you know, the August 8, 2000 ACFC nationwide child support agency
peaceful protest was a tremendous success that received a great deal of media
exposure including many local news reports, national television, print, and
radio. We reached many people who previously had not known about these
crucial issues.
This was only the beginning. We need sustained, repeated exposure of our
issues to educate and create positive change. We need to raise awareness
about the injustices that are occurring daily in the family courts across
this nation. We are not going away until we are heard and justice prevails
in the family courts and child support agencies.
The August 8th protest zeroed in on the problems in the area of financial
child support. The next protest will focus on the rampant problems in the
area of emotional child support - namely, the phenomenon of "deadbolted
dads." The term "deadbolted dads" was coined by Gail Sheehy in a 1998 New
York Times article and refers to dads who are locked out of their children's
lives after a divorce or family breakup. "Deadbolting" also can happen to
non-custodial moms.
We have heard much over the years of so-called "deadbeat dads" and we now
understand that the myths surrounding this stereotype have been "shattered."
Now we must raise awareness of the tragic problem of deadbolted dads, and
some non-custodial moms, who are locked out of their children's lives with no
way to get back in.
A large percentage Of the 14 million non-custodial parents nationwide have
problems with access denial and child visitation/parenting time interference.
These problems can consist of infrequent interference with parenting time to
being totally cut off from one's children perhaps through domestic and
international child abduction, parenting time access denial, moveaway
situations, unnecessary restraining orders, etc.
-- Sociology Professor David Popenoe wrote in "Life Without Father," "...if
present trends continue, the percentage of American children living apart
from their biological fathers will reach 50 percent early in the next
century."
ACFC contends that the point that many political candidates and others
consistently miss is that most of these so-called "absent dads" don't leave
their children willingly. Rather, they are being pushed and driven away by a
failing court system that does nothing to help them see their children.
Court orders for visitation or parenting time are routinely not enforced.
Many Dads feel like walking wallets with no hope of ever having a meaningful
relationship with their beloved children.
And this is a problem that Americans care about...
"According to a 1996 Gallup Poll, 79.1 percent of Americans feel 'the most
significant family or social problem facing America is the physical absence
of the father from the home.' This number is up from 69.9 percent in 1992."
(MSNBC website: "Labor Day: where are the
fathers?", 1999)
We must raise national awareness that most of these fathers are not "absent"
willingly. In fact, the most common refrain heard on the ACFC hotline is, "I
just want to see my children."
Loving non-custodial parents find themselves unwillingly relegated to visitor
status in their children's lives. Some non-custodial parents are cut off
totally from relationships with their beloved children. When this happens,
extended family are cut off, too. Loving grandmothers and grandfathers,
sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts all suffer when a child is unnecessarily
kept away by a misguided, vindictive, or selfish parent. A whole heritage
can be lost to these children. As mentioned above, this commonly occurs in a
variety of ways: domestic and international abductions, moveaways,
interference with visitation/parenting time, child access denial, and
unnecessary restraining orders,
Needless to say, this has negative effects on children. Negative effects of
divorce on children have most recently been described by Dr. Judith
Wallerstein who recommends that parents stay together if at all possible for
the children's sake.
Many family courts are not enforcing visitation orders. We all know this.
Many of us experience this firsthand, but many of the general public are not
yet aware that it's not so easy to keep going back to court again and again
to try to get "visitation."...Dads become emotionally and financially
drained. Many dads are spending thousands of dollars just to be able to see
their children. This is tragic.
Why aren't the family courts enforcing visitation orders? Shouldn't the
courts enforce their own orders that they have issued supposedly in the "best
interests of the children?" Doesn't this lack of enforcement show that it
is not the children's best interests that drives this system, otherwise
courts would enforce the orders? Children have the right to know and love
both of their parents. They are being deprived of this basic human right
when a healthy relationship with a loving parent is thwarted.
One government program's slogan targeted to so-called absent dads said,
"They're your kids, be their dad."
This slogan and "Responsible Fathers" rhetoric misses the crucial point that
the reason why most so-called "absent dads" aren't there is NOT that they
willingly walk away, but that they are being driven away, pushed away by a
system that creates "deadbolted parents." Until we address and correct the
obstacles placed in the way of loving fathers who want to maintain a healthy
relationship with their children, children will not be able to get what is
their birthright.
As a society, we must all remember that fathers love their children as much
as mothers do. Sadly, society seems to have forgotten this simple truth, and
we are bombarded with negative images of fatherhood. Furthermore, children
love their Dads as much as they love their Moms. We must never forget this.
We are bombarded with negative stereotypes such as "runaway dads," "absentee
dads," and "deadbeat dads" when the reality is that dads are deadbolted and
in most cases, broken-hearted over the loss of their beloved children. And
the children are missing their Dads, too.
Even more tragic, many children don't even know that their non-custodial Dad
or Mom is trying to be there for them - perhaps thinking that they've been
abandoned or rejected when this is far from the truth. The children don't
forget their deadbolted Dads or Moms even if the ex-spouses would like to
forget the ex-spouse. This situation is deplorable and must change - for
the children's sake.
So... ATTENTION PLEASE:
All men and women, fathers and mothers, second wives, grandparents, aunts,
sisters, brothers, uncles, and friends: We must join together to let the
public know that we can no longer tolerate these unfair and unjust conditions
that hurt children and families. We must reunite deadbolted parents and
their children.
Only repetitive peaceful protests with a strong message will convey our
issues. We must undo the damage that has been done over the years that has
led to fathers being considered disposable or replaceable. And we must
accomplish this by educating the public about the plight of non-custodial
parents and children. The public will do what's right when they know the
truth. They don't know it in large enough numbers, yet.
In addition, many non-custodial Dads and Moms and their families are isolated
and have no idea that they are not the only ones experiencing a
"deadbolting." We must reach out to them so they can find us. It is our job
to get the truth to them and to the general public, and to legislators and
decision-makers, so they can act and join with us in our quest. We must join
together in large numbers to speak with a strong voice regarding the tragedy
that is occurring in our great country -- and it doesn't have to be this way.
We must never give up. This is for our children.
We already know what works - we have done it! Our previous protest
represented 36 states and Canada! Now, let's keep the forward momentum
going. Let's join together and show the world that non-custodial parents and
their families number in the millions, and we want positive change for our
families now.
We CAN do this. We need to bring attention to our issues before the
elections. We all learned a lot from the August 8th protest, and we now
know the formula that works. All we need to do is to stick with it.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY:
E-mail us at ACFCMember@aol.com or call us at 1-800-978-3237 to sign up as a
protest coordinator/leader for your local area. We will work closely with
protest coordinators as we did with the August 8th protest. Information on
how to get a protest permit, handouts, recruiting flyers, posters, a news
release, and how to let the media know about your protest will be some of the
information we will make available to all protest coordinators.
As we did with the other protest, ACFC will be putting up a family court
protest web page where prospective protest coordinators can sign up and
prospective participants can find the protest that may be taking place in
their local area. As soon as this web page goes up, we will post the
announcement on the ACFC listserve. Until then, would you please e-mail us
or call us to sign up as a protest coordinator? Your information will be
added to the protest page as soon as the page is available.
Some of you already have a headstart. You have your posters from the first
protest. And, you have your people that helped out before. We hope that you
will participate in this effort also.
Our goal is to have 25 men and women at each protest site on the protest day
of October 24, 2000. The specific site and time of your protest will be
chosen by the protest coordinator. We would like to have protest sites at
either family courts or bridges. The protests at bridges can be modeled
after the successful St. Louis protest on August 8th. (We will provide more
details on how to do this). We might want to call it: "Building Bridges to
our Children."
We are attempting to raise awareness of our plight and to offer solutions for
positive change. Shared parenting, a 50/50 rebuttable presumption of
custody, is the solution. Children need both parents. We are calling for
fair and equal treatment in the courts for all men and women, and recognition
of the human rights of children to know both parents. Unnecessary and unjust
intervention by the courts into the private realm of family life and
parenting needs to be exposed and halted. We are calling for fair and
effective enforcement of court orders for visitation/parenting time.
This is a call for Unity. Please sign up as a protest leader/coordinator
today! We urgently need your help to make this protest yet another
tremendous success and get us closer to positive change. There is hope.
Together we can make a difference for our children and our families. This is
an opportunity to channel energy into positive action. Would you please pass
this message along to all appropriate groups, listserves, newsgroups, and
your family and friends?
Please sign up today.
Thanks in advance for your responses and for your help!
Let's keep going...We CAN do this!
ACFC
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